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Fragrance of Success

Fragrance of Success

Category Archives: Women Winners

Victim of Child Marriage becomes IPS Officer

08 Wednesday Jan 2020

Posted by fragranceofsuccess in Quotable Quotes, Women Winners

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ambition, career, child marriage, dreams, IPS, officer, police, struggle, upsc

When faced with failure or rejection, most of us lock ourselves in the darkness to run away from sadness, pain, and disappointment. We usually tend to blame other people for the bad things that happen to us. It doesn’t matter if it is about a bad relationship, a bad career, or a bad marriage, many of us find rescue in blaming others for the failure.

But there are only a few, who don’t indulge in the blame game. They rather focus their strengths to make sure life circumstances don’t stop them from achieving their dreams. N. Ambika is one such courageous woman, whose life has inspired many men and women, who felt helpless while fighting against their life circumstances.

N Ambika was just 14 years old when she got married to a Police constable at Dindikal, Tamilnadu. In spite of being a victim of Child Marriage, she didn’t blame the system. At the age of 18, she blessed with two daughters Aigan and Niharika.

Ambika’s husband was a Police Constable in TN Government. The initial years of marriage were spent in bringing up the children. Somewhere deep in her heart, she nurtured dreams of acquiring an important position in society. One day he went to attend a ceremonial Parade program in which IG and DG of the locality were the guests of honor.

Ambika was impressed with the respect and honor were given to the DG and IG. After returning home she asked her husband “who were these officers and why are they given such VIP treatment.? “Her husband said, “they are high ranking IPS officers “. It was then, that she nurtured a dream of becoming an IPS officer herself. The first challenge was that she was married at a young age, so she could not complete her SSLC. Her husband supported her, so Ambika could pass SSLC, PUC, and graduation through open distance learning. The nearest coaching for Civil Services exam was available only in Chennai. She stayed in PG accommodation in Chennai and attended the coaching classes.

Even after three sincere efforts, she failed to clear the exam. Her husband was a bit disappointed and advised her to give up and come back.” I will be having two stars on my shoulders by the time I retire” he added. Ambika listened patiently and said,” please give me one year, I will try again, If I don’t succeed, then I will come back and work as a teacher in some school.”

Ambika put in her heart and soul and finally cleared the prelims, mains and interview in 2008 to become an IPS officer. During her training at the IPS Academy, she was a batchmate of Ravi D Chennanavar DCP Bangalore, who used to describe her as an attentive and brave officer. Ambika now works as a Deputy Commissioner of Police North Mumbai.

N Ambika

Ambika has become a role model for many women. We are not only celebrating the courage of Ambika but also her husband’s immense sacrifice, support, and patience. Ambika’s story is the source of great strength for many of us, who are struggling with our circumstances and feeling helpless.

So rather than giving up, Ambika’s story inspires us to be brave and start our journey towards our destiny. Though this brave woman was a victim of child marriage, she refused to spend her whole life blaming the system. Rather, she dedicated her life to fighting against the system and win over it – to bring the change.

From an Army widow to an Army Officer to Mrs. India

27 Sunday May 2018

Posted by fragranceofsuccess in Women Winners

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Tags

Army, Classic  Mrs. India –, Kashmir, Kirti Chakra, Major Avinash Singh, martyrdom, NDA, physical training, Shalini, SSB

“I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow. When there’s that moment of ‘Wow, I’m not really sure I can do this,’ and you push through those moments, that’s when you have a breakthrough.” – Marissa Mayer (CEO of Yahoo)

At 19 years Shalini was married to Major Avinash Singh. She continued her studies. Two years passed happily, and the couple was blessed with a male child in 1999.Major Avinash was posted to Kashmir at the time which meant long hauls with little or no connection. But the two made it work. Mobile phones were not common those days, so the only means of communication was the STD booth. To talk for five minutes both of them had to wait for about an hour. Shalini remembers how Avinash would enjoy listening to the meaningless chatter of his son.

Capt Shalini 1

Shalini was managing the roles of a mother, a wife, and a student, waiting for the day when the family would be united. But fate willed otherwise. On 28 September 2001, she got a message from Maj Avinash’s unit that he had been he had been seriously injured after killing four terrorists. He attained martyrdom at the age of 29 years. Shalini was a widow at 23 and a mother of a two-year-old son.

Initially, she was in a state of shock. She did not know how to react to people coming to offer condolences. She even thought of ending her life, but the face of her son made her change her mind. She gathered courage, calmed down and decided to live, if not for herself, at least for her son Dhruv, who was oblivious of the catastrophe that had hit the family.“Dhruv brought life back in me. I had to be strong, for him. I decided to join the Army. I was not sure how I would do it. I was very fragile and delicate physically. I was a pampered child of my family. When I met his unit officers at my home, I told them that I had decided to join Army,” she says.

Some of her friends and relatives were supportive of her decision, but others tried to dissuade her given the tough training and difficult service conditions in the Army. Moreover, Dhruv was a toddler and dependent on her. Shalini thought that Dhruv was her greatest strength and she would not let it become her weakness. She focused on the future and decided that she would do all it takes, to become an Army officer.

She dropped out of her postgraduate course and enrolled for coaching to prepare for the SSB interview. Her efforts bore fruit, and she was called for an interview at SSB Allahabad in December 2001. Barely three months had passed after the death of her husband. As the interview was one week long, she asked her parents to accompany her. They stayed separately with Dhruv as they were not allowed inside the SSB campus. At a fixed time she would go to the nearby park, where her parents would be waiting with Dhruv. This was to enable her to feed him, as he refused to eat from his grandparents. Co-candidates who watched the events unfold lauded. She used to put up a brave face during the day, but couldn’t help crying all alone at night, as she missed her son.

Tears of joy rolled down her cheeks when she got the news that she had cleared the SSB interview. Shalini was required to stay for another week for the medical tests. She convinced Dhruv to return with his grandparents which he agreed happily. After being found medically fit, she reported for training to Officer’s Training Academy Chennai. On the one hand she was feeling the pangs of separation from her three years old son, and on the other hand, the grueling physical training was exhausting her daily.

Capt Shalini 2

The rigorous training of six months completed in Sept 2002, when she passed out as a commissioned officer. It was a sea change from saree/suits to OG uniform and army boots. So strong was her determination that she achieved her dream just three weeks before Maj Avinash’s first death anniversary.

When Maj Avinash was posthumously awarded Kirti Chakra(second highest gallantry award), it was Shalini who proudly received it from the then  President Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam. For six years, she dedicatedly served the country and fought to break the glass ceiling as a single mother working in a male-dominated environment. She only quit the defense force to help her then 16-year-old son. After that, she worked in an MNC   to support her son and plan for his future. Dhruv has appeared in the NDA entrance examination. His dream is to become a brave Army Officer and do his parents proud.  Settled in Delhi, the former captain did not stop winning at life. Fifteen years after the death of her husband,39 years old Shalini went on to be crowned ‘Classic  Mrs. India – Queen of Substance’ for 2017, a title apt for the woman of steel that she is.

Capt Shalini 3

We salute Capt Shalini for setting such a spectacular example, not just for the many army widows who undergo tremendous difficulties after the loss of their husband but also women and girl children across India. Her story will also remind them to not give up, not even in the face of personal loss. Her struggle and never say die attitude will continue to inspire women for years to come.

Queen of dark

07 Monday May 2018

Posted by fragranceofsuccess in Women Winners

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dark complexion, discrimination, melanin, model., Nyakim Gatwech, Queen of the dark, racist comments, South Sudanese model

“I’m a firm believer that your lifestyle plays a key role in the state of your complexion.”

– Kenza Fourati

Beauty has always been synonymous with fair skin. No wonder skin whitening creams thrive by showing that fairness is the key to becoming smart, successful and confident in life. Dark complexion is looked down upon and considered a liability, at least in India. A South Sudanese model has challenged these beliefs. Twenty-four-year-old Nyakim Gatwech who takes pride in her dark skin. She has been nicknamed ‘Queen of the dark.’

Gatwech was born in South Sudan at a time when the African country was in the throes of a brutal civil war. Her mother fled before she was even born, because of the ongoing war. Soldiers would come and recklessly shoot the whole village down. She had to make her way with her children on foot to Ethiopia. Rebels would try to rob them, and her mother would take all of them in one room, to protect them. Her brother has a scar — he got attacked with a long knife while he was in the room with her sister.

She also faced racist comments outside the classroom. She was disturbed to hear comments like “Oh my God, she’s so black. Is that even normal? from strangers. “She was asked by an Uber driver “if you were given 10 thousand dollars would you bleach your skin?’”. She answered a firm ‘no.’ People started asking her “Why are you so dark? “She had only one answer “I am blessed with melanin, and I love this darkness.”

Queen of dark

She remembers the day when she walked up to a group of students in the school cafeteria, and to her surprise, all of them left to avoid her. Students would tease her, “She is so black, it seems she doesn’t even take a bath.”  She toyed with the idea of bleaching, but her sister cautioned her about the futility and side effects. Her sister, who had done some modeling, coaxed her to become a model.

The model, who now lives in Minneapolis, is on a journey to promote skin positivity and self-acceptance. Along with her gorgeous photos, which she shares with her 89,000-plus followers on Instagram, she also sends out inspirational messages, especially to women who are struggling to be comfortable in their skin.

Gatwech has modeled for Calvin Klein, Fashion Nova, Aldo, and Cosmopolitan, and she’s ready to bring positivity and black girl magic to the runway. The day is not far off when Gatwech will be featured on major magazine covers. But it seems that the model has ambitions much beyond fashion or beauty. She has enrolled in teacher training courses at Minneapolis Community College and plans to be an elementary school teacher. She desires to give back to the community.Gatwech has big dreams — she aspires to work for Fenty Beauty and wants to be a  part of the model roster at IMG Models.  Her primary goal with her career is to keep promoting self-love and helping others who might suffer from discrimination due to their skin color.Gatwech has big dreams — she aspires to work for Fenty Beauty and desires to be a part of the model roster at IMG Models. Her primary goal is to keep promoting self-love and helping others who might suffer from discrimination due to their skin color.

A school drop out becomes a first transgender judge.

29 Sunday Apr 2018

Posted by fragranceofsuccess in Women Winners

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The plight of transgender people is known to everyone, over the years. Since times immemorial they were called ‘hijras’ and used by kings to assist the royal ladies. Traditionally they were also called upon to sing, dance and bless a newborn child and even in weddings. But all this has become a thing of the past. A 29-year-old, Joyita Mondal has been appointed as the first transgender judge of a Lok Adalat (civil court) in July 2017.

She was born as ‘Joyonto’ (male) in a traditional Hindu household in Kolkata. Although she was born as a boy, her feelings were those of a girl. This anomaly started creating problems in her family. She suffered a lot of discrimination and verbal bullying by boys in school. Unable to conform to the gender norms imposed on her, she dropped out of school after class X.

trans

After graduation, she faced an identity crisis. In 2009, she left her home in Kolkata and came to Islampur because she didn`t want to leave her identity as well as her family. She told her mother that she had got a job in Dinajpur, a neighboring district in the state, and wanted to go there. She said to her that she would come back in two months if things didn’t work out. She said that after coming to Islampur, she started working in an office and used to socialize with LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) people.

In the initial years, apart from attending functions as a ‘hijra,’ she also worked for the rights of transgender.She was not allowed in hotels, so she had to sleep at the bus stops.She enrolled for a law course through correspondence and got a law degree. She got a voter ID in 2010, as the first transgender in the district.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 2014 judgment, also known as NALSA (National Legal Services Authority) judgment,  by the Supreme Court of India, which declared transgender people to be a `third gender`, This judgment is a significant step Soon afterward, she realized that the LGBT people of North Dinajpur were not aware of their rights. In 2010, she started a Non-Governmental Organization `Nai Roshni for Dinajpur for LGBT community.  The movement became stronger after the 2014 Supreme Court judgment, wherein they were granted the status of the third gender.

After improving the lives of the LGBT people in the area, she decided to expand the scope of influence of the NGO from LGBT to sex workers and needy older adults. They helped them to get ration cards, voter cards, and Adhaar cards.

 

If transgenders start getting government jobs, then their condition will become better, and they will not be forced to dance in marriages or becoming sex workers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A shepherd girl becomes the first Muslim woman Education Minister of France!

18 Wednesday Oct 2017

Posted by fragranceofsuccess in Women Winners

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Tags

education, obstacle, politics, struggle, woman

 Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. –Judy Garland

She was born in Nador(a small village in the countryside of Morrocco) in 1977.The village was so backward that it did not even have electricity. Her father was a construction worker. She was the second child among seven siblings. She learned the meaning of struggle and hard work at an early age, as the 4-year-old was forced to tend goats and gather water from a nearby well. She moved to the suburbs of Amiens in France in 1982 with her family and faced the real world full of opportunities as well as struggles. She fell prey to a cultural shock. Suddenly, she was surrounded by a host of obstacles, the major one being language, as she didn’t know French. Hold your breath, because this girl has grown up to become a very charming Muslim woman and the youngest person ever to become the French Minister of Education. The journey wasn’t easy, but she had no plans to quit either. She decimated every obstacle that came in her way.

Najat-Belkacem-750x500

Talking about her struggle, she said, “The fact of leaving one’s country, one’s family, one’s root can be painful, my father had already found his place, but for us, for my mother, it was very difficult to get our bearing.”

Najat Belkacem inherited hard work and resourcefulness from her father who laid strict rules for his daughters – no boys and no nightclubs till the age of 18. As a result, the girls completely surrendered themselves to studies. The Moroccan girl who had no proficiency in French learned the language by the end of her first year in college.  Najat’s sister, Fatiha, is a lawyer in Paris. Najat worked two jobs to take the financial load off her parents while pursuing her Master’s in Public Administration. She developed an interest in politics from a very tender age.

After studying hard for years, Najat graduated from the Paris Institute of Political Studies in 2002. Soon after, she joined the Socialist Party and began her fight for citizens’ rights, against discrimination, and housing for all. She married to civil servant Boris Vallaud in 2005 after courting in the university. She also gave birth to a set of twins – a boy and a girl. She also became an adviser to the Socialist Party in the same year.

Soon, her handwork paid off and she was chosen as a council woman in Rhone Alpines and stayed in office till 2008. She was later designated as the Council General of the Rhone department. By then, she had strongly set her foothold in politics.

However, a major turn in her life came when she was elected as Minister of Women’s Rights and spokeswoman for the government under President Hollande, in 2012. As a woman affairs minister, she supported the legislation of gay marriage and gender ideology even as she was criticised by many. After becoming the Education Minister, Belkacem, who calls herself a non-practicing Muslim, made headlines because of her statement that she was opposed to both –from someone being forced to wear burkinis as well as the bans on the swimwear, calling it “a threat to individuals’ freedoms.” Belkacem, however, continues to be attacked in the country for being an immigrant. Sometimes she has also been accused of “flaunting her charms.”

In 2014, she served as the Minister of Women’s Right, Minister of City Affairs, Minister of Youth Affairs and Sports. In a major cabinet shuffle, she was promoted to serve as the Minister of Education.

From a shepherd girl to the French Education Minister, Belkacem is a living example that keeping faith in our children and investing in them in a right way, like in proper education can be rewarding. She is an inspiration to millions who have had poor childhoods but wish to succeed immensely in their careers and lives.While advising the youth who want to participate in the country’s politics, Najat said, “I have always advised the youths to get involved in politics. The best way to be happy with your future is by playing a part in it. If you’re just a spectator of collective fate, you’re bound to feel frustrated.”

The first Afghan female taxi driver

30 Monday Jan 2017

Posted by fragranceofsuccess in Women Winners

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You are about to read the 146 th post on this blog….

“The best protection any woman can have … is courage.”

– Elizabeth Cady Stant

Even now, when it is not common to find lady taxi drivers in India, it is my proud privilege to present Sara Bahai, who fought against all odds and dared to become a lady taxi driver in the male-dominated terror struck Afghanistan.

Sara has very dark memories of her childhood. She recalls many tears and heartache from the years of war and persecution and her father was killed in action 36 years ago. Growing up, it was easier for Sara to live as a boy and act as a tomboy because it was so difficult being a female in a Taliban-run country. “As a kid, I was a real tomboy. I used to wear boy’s clothes. No one could tell I was a girl. But my parents were very supportive of my personality and gave me the freedom to live my life as I wanted. I was very lucky to have parents like that.”

sara-bahai-driver

Sara never had any interest in dolls growing up and always played with her brother’s toy cars instead. “I used to make cars with match boxes because my father could not afford many toys,” Sara remembers, who has never worn the all-blue Burka the Taliban had made compulsory for women on the rare occasions they left their home.

While the majority of the country celebrated the fall of the Taliban in 2002, Sara quickly signed up for a two-week professional driving course with the Chief Officer of the Traffic Police and applied for a license to legally start driving her red Toyota Corolla DX.Then, Sara decided to make money for her family and become a full-time taxi driver.

And when Sara finally got behind a wheel and drove a car for the first time she felt as if she was flying. She said: ‘The first time I drove a car I felt as if someone had given me wings. I cannot express the feeling; ‘it was beautiful’. It was my neighbor’s car and I drove for just a few miles around our neighborhood but it was enough – I was hooked. After that, I was determined to learn to drive and buy my own car.’

To attain her driving license, Sara took a class with 30 other people, all of whom were men. They were always ready to vent vitriol for her. But, that did not deter her, and she was among the 10 people in that class to finally get a license.

Sara said: “When women get into my car and see a woman driver they start smiling and giggling, they say they’re very proud of me. I think they’re glad at least one woman is living an independent life. In my taxi, they talk freely. They feel comfortable and talk about families, husbands and crack jokes.” But not all Sara’s customers are as accepting.

Narrating her mixed experiences Sara said, “My male customers are never happy with me. They believe it’s very un-Islamic for a woman to drive – they still have very primitive thinking. They accuse me of setting a bad example for women and nasty things come out of their mouths. But I do not get depressed; I tell them exactly what I think. A woman driving a car is not nonreligious and their opinions are ludicrous.” When people first saw Sara as a taxi driver they laughed at her. But it did not deter her. She was confident about her decision. She wanted to show the world that Afghanistan women are not born to just get married and have children. They can work, look after themselves and be independent too.

Sara Bahai has dedicated her life to caring for her mother Bibi, 60, to helping her sister care for her seven children, after the death of her husband in 2000 during the war against the Taliban. When asked about the reason for not getting married, she said “I’ve had many men ask me to marry them but I’ve never agreed. I have no regrets. I broke the marriage rule in my family because there was no one to feed us or make money so I had to step in as the strong one.” Amongst Sara’s six sisters and seven brothers, Sara is the only one not to marry. But Sara has watched her sisters in very unhappy marriages. So much so Sara adopted her sister’s two sons, now 12 and 18 years old and studying in school because her husband was a drug addict and couldn’t provide for them. She does not believe in taking chances with her safety, so she keeps a loaded hunting rifle at her shanty in a poor neighborhood, at all times.

She doesn’t even pay a mechanic to check her car; she does all the repairs herself. And makes, even more, money by buying and selling second-hand cars. Sara admits she has been very lucky to have never faced any threats from the Taliban, but she knows many women who are too scared to take one step outside their home.

Sara is now determined to contribute as much as she can to the prosperity of Afghan women – and she is doing that by starting her own driving school. She already has three female students learning to drive and she is getting more requests every day. She dreams of having a bustling driving school generating thousands of Afghan female taxi drivers of the future.

Besides trailblazing a path for women on Afghan roads and supporting her family, Bahai is also an active human rights activist. “When I get a call, I have to get the scene as soon as possible and solve the problem,” says Bahai, who works with a coalition of human rights groups in Balkh Province. “This car can be of a lot of help for me. Helping others with family-related issues is one of the reasons why I bought this car.” Still, she claims to have saved several divorces and to have helped many women study.

When asked to give a message for Afghan women she said: “stand up for yourselves, set goals and achieve them, and help to make Afghanistan a happy place to live.”

She works as a house maid and secured 85 % marks in PU exam!

17 Monday Oct 2016

Posted by fragranceofsuccess in Women Winners

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“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.”

–Colin Powell

She has scored 84. 8 per cent in the science stream in the second PU exam and dreams of bigger academic goals. But that doesn’t complete the picture. This high-scorer cleaned bathrooms and scrubbed utensils, cooking and nursing, while juggling studies. That’s 17-year-old Shalini A, whose life story is more like an obstacle race.

Shalini had studied in Tamil medium from class one to seven, when she was shifted to Kannada medium till tenth standard. She then shifted to English medium for her PU studies at SGPTA-Deeksha College. If coping with frequent changes in the medium was not daunting enough, there were bigger challenges on the home front too.

Shalini, a resident of Mariyappanapalya near Rajajinagar, said her father who worked as a laborer, had been bedridden for over a decade after falling off a building. He has started moving around only recently, though he is still confined to the house. After the accident, her mother took up work as a housemaid in several houses so that she could provide for Shalini and her brother. With her mum away, the young girl had to run the show in her own house, doing everything from cooking to cleaning.

maid-servant

Just before the II PU exams, another tragedy struck the family. Her younger brother was diagnosed with third stage blood cancer. Shalini would often be in hospital with a book in her hand. “If I had not put in so much time in the hospital, I might have scored better. But my brother is more important to me than marks,” says the gritty teen, who has been thrown into another tough situation now. With her mother spending most of the day tending to her brother, Shalini had to take up her mother’s jobs. Though she’s preparing for CET now, she also maintains a grueling work schedule.

Explaining her schedule, Shalini said, “I wake up around 4.30 am. After finishing my household chores, I rush to five houses close by where my job is to sprinkle water and draw Rangoli.”She’s done by 6 am after which she rushes to an office where she mops the floors and cleans the bathrooms. “The work ends by 7.30 am and then I head to another house to wash clothes. I am relatively free by 9 am and go home to prepare for CET. My study, coupled with my household chores, ends by 12.30 pm when it’s time to step out again for two more jobs. I come back by 4.30 pm and have time till 6 pm to study.” After quickly squeezing in some studies, she is out for more work, returning only at night and once again pouring into her books till midnight.

The teenager credits her college officials with encouraging her to study. “She is a hardworking girl, friendly with everyone and attentive in nature. Despite her family’s condition, she always has a smile on her face,” Prathap Naidu, SGPTA PU College principal, Thyagarajnagar, said. Shalini has no qualms about the hard work, saying she is happy to support her family.

Life has not been kind enough for her as she had to face agony while pursuing her studies.”I aimed for scoring marks in the range of 90 to 95 percent, but could not, as I had to attend to my ailing brother, “she said. Her ambition is to become the first engineer in her family.

The family stays in a small house shared with Shalini’s mother Vijaya’s brother and his wife. Vijaya only studied till Class V, and her husband is illiterate. But she was perhaps her daughter’s biggest inspiration. Many say the real test of life is usually outside the examination hall. If that is the case, young Shalini is already a winner.

Gulabi Gang

02 Saturday Jul 2016

Posted by fragranceofsuccess in Women Winners

≈ 2 Comments

“The strength of a woman is not measured by the impact that all her hardships in life have had on her; but the strength of a woman is measured by the extent of her refusal to allow those hardships to dictate her and who she becomes.”

― C. JoyBell C.

Bundelkhand is one of the poorest parts of the Uttar Pradesh. It’s also one of the most populated areas of an already hugely overpopulated country. The inhabitants face a daily struggle for survival as they cope with infertile land, a corrupt judicial system, and India’s oppressive, outdated caste hierarchy. Domestic violence and discrimination against women is the order of the day. In the midst of this plight, a group of vigilantes who call themselves the Gulabi Gang is fighting, often literally, for equality. The gang is made up of over 10,000 women, all of whom wear the Gulabi uniform of pink saris. They specialize in the lathi, a traditional Indian fighting stick.

Gulabi gang

Sampat Pal Devi 

 Sampat Pal Devi is a 47 year old wiry woman, wife of an ice cream vendor, mother of five children, who set up and leads the “pink gang”. Her seeds of rebellion were sown very early on when in face of her parents’ resistance to send her to school, she began writing and drawing on the walls, floors and dust-caked village streets. She finally ended up going to school, but was married off when she was nine, in a region where child marriages are common. At 12, she went to live with her husband and at 13 she had her first child. To keep the home fires burning, Sampat Devi began to work as a government health worker, but she quit after a while because her job was not satisfying enough. “I wanted to work for the people, not for myself alone. I was already holding meetings with people, networking with women who were ready to fight for a cause, and was ready with a group of women,” she says.

“The word ‘gang’ doesn’t necessarily denote criminals,” she said. “It can also be used to describe a team, a crew. We are a gang for justice. In rallies and protests outside our villages, especially in crowded cities, our members used to get lost in the rush. We decided to dress in a single color, which would be easy to identify. We didn’t want to be associated with other colors as they had associations with political or religious groups. We settled on pink, the color of life. It’s good. It makes the administration wary of us” she added.

In June 2013, the ‘Gulabis ‘accomplished their biggest triumph. After receiving complaints that a government-run fair-price shop in Attara was not giving out grain as it should have been, Sampat Devi and her gang decided to keep a covert watch over the shop owner. The gang intercepted two truckloads laden with Below Poverty Line-designated grain on their way to the open market. Armed with this evidence, the gang members pressurized the local administration to seize the grain and hand over the shop owner to the police, but again the case wasn’t even registered. The angry gang members attacked and assaulted one of the police officers. Though no formal complaint has been made, the incident immensely bolstered the credibility of the gang in the region.

Some members of the local community compare Sampat Devi to the legendary Queen of Jhansi, Laxmibai. They show their gratitude by supporting the gang. Babloo Mishra allows the gang to use his premises for an office. “The best thing is that these women will take up anyone’s cause as long as it’s genuine, not only those of its members,” he said.

Claiming to be the commander of the Gulabi Gang, Sampat says “I started the association in the 1990s, but I named it the ‘Gulabi Gang’ in 2006. We aim to empower women, promote child education with an emphasis on girls, and stop corruption and domestic violence. I visit numerous villages every day and meet the various members of the gang. We have gang meetings where we decide the plan of action.” Elaborating the modus operandi she added “First we go to the police and request them to do something. But since the administration is callous, we often end up taking matters into our own hands. We first speak to the husband who is beating his wife. If he doesn’t understand then we ask his wife to join us while we beat him with lathis.”When asked about the success rate she said “Our missions have a 100 percent success rate. We have never failed in bringing justice when it comes to domestic problems. Dealing with the administration is the tricky part since we cannot always take the law in our hands. We did beat up some corrupt officials but we were ultimately helpless. The goons of the corrupt officials and the political parties constantly threaten me. ”

Sampat’s family didn’t always support her, but when she resisted and explained to her husband, he understood and supported her. Talking about her difficulties she said “I don’t have enough money. I travel everywhere on an old bicycle. Some of our supporters help us with small donations and charity.” When asked about the future plans she said “I want this movement to carry on and would like support from international or local agencies. I work on a grassroots level and want to set up a small-scale industry for the poor villagers whom I work with. We have talented young men and women who can make organic manure, candles, Ayurvedic medicines, and pickles. They could earn a decent livelihood. If I get funded, I can set up a stitching center for women who can then support their families.”

A great deal needs to be done in the region, and people like Sampat Devi are making a huge difference. Although some cases have been registered against the gang, she believes it is not about breaking rules; it is about standing up and fighting for your rights. “Village society in India is biased against women. It refuses to educate them, marries them off too early, and barters them for money. The girls should be educated and made self-reliant,” she says.

Last year, Sampat Devi contested the state polls as an independent candidate but could muster only 2,800 votes. “Joining politics is not my chosen way to help people. We will keep up our good work, so the state does not take us for granted,” she says. In the badlands of Uttar Pradesh where nothing seems to work for the poor, this itself is a laudable aim. The future of the Gulabi Gang is bright. It’s a people’s movement and will grow bigger and bigger in the future provided we get support from the local administration. The Gulabi gang is the subject of the 2010 movie ‘Pink Saris’ by Kim Longinotto as also the 2012 documentary ‘Gulabi Gang’ by Nishtha Jain.

A bestselling author who works as a domestic help!

15 Sunday May 2016

Posted by fragranceofsuccess in Women Winners

≈ 2 Comments

“Nature creates ability, luck provides it with opportunity”

_Francois de la Rochefoucauld

The new maid Professor Prabodh Kumar found through the milkman behaved oddly. All day the Bengali lady, a mother of three, worked hard and silently, sweeping, mopping, cooking; but her busy hands would still as she dusted the books, the dust cloth moving with unnecessary slowness through the pages of his Bengali books. Prabodh, a retired professor of Anthropology and a grandson of Munshi Premchand, the well-known Hindi and Urdu writer finally confronted her. “Do you read?” She looked as guilty as if he’d caught her hand in the biscuit tin. Can you believe it, the same maid servant has written two best sellers? She has been on book tours to cities such as Paris, Frankfurt and Hong Kong; her books have been translated into 12 foreign languages — including French, German and Japanese. It is my privilege to share this incredible story with you.

Baby Halder was born and grew up largely in Murshidabad, in West Bengal. She had a motherless childhood and an abusive father. She was abandoned by her mother when she was 7. She had been to school intermittently. Her step-mother married her off at the tender age of 13 years to a man twice her age.  She was pregnant soon after. She had two more children, and then her husband attacked her with a stone for speaking to another man. With remarkable determination, she walked out and took a train to Delhi with her children, where she started work as a household cleaner. Her employers were largely abusive, one forcing her to lock her children in the attic, another demanding never-ending chores and massages.

Baby Halder

      Baby Halder with Prof Prabodh Kumar          

When the kind professor offered her the use of his bookshelves, she hesitantly chose Taslima Nasreen’s Amar Meyebela (My Girlhood). “It was as if,” recalls Baby, “I was reading about my own life.” Other books left Prabodh’s shelf in rapid succession: novels by Ashapurna Devi, Mahashweta Devi, Buddhadeb Guha. That was when Prabodh went out one day and bought her a pen and notebook. “Write,” he told her, an order that made Baby almost weep with frustration. “I was nervous when I held the pen in my fingers. I had not written anything since my school days. But when I started writing, words began to flow effortlessly. In fact, writing turned out to be a cathartic experience,” revealed Halder, who has studied up to seventh grade.  “What she wrote had enormous depth. In fact, I showed it to my friends and they agreed with me,” said Kumar, who has translated Halder’s books into Hindi. In fact, her first book ‘Aalo Aandhari’ (Light and Darkness) was published in 2002 in Hindi. In 2006, it was published in English, titled ‘A Life Less Ordinary: A Memoir.

Recalling her experiences of writing she said “It was nearly 20 years since I had ever written in a notebook, I had forgotten spellings. It was very embarrassing, especially when my children wanted to know why I was writing in a notebook instead of them.” But her first words worked their own magic: they unlocked her past. All her searing, suppressed memories of the mother who abandoned them, the night when the man she married climbed into her bed and raped her, the sister who was strangled by her husband, the terror and pain of delivering her first child at 13, memories she had never confided to anyone, didn’t even realize she had, flowed out into the notebook. There was no stopping Baby now. She wrote in the kitchen, propping her notebook between the vegetables and dishes, she wrote in between sweeping and swabbing, after the dishes and before, and late at night after putting her children to bed.

The results were even more unexpected. “All I had in mind when I urged her to write was to take her mind off her problems. But the closely-written pages of the notebook were astonishingly good,” says Prabodh. Mr. Kumar explained that he helped Ms. Halder reorder the text so it became a chronological account of her life, removing repetition and fixing grammar. He said that at first her spelling and handwriting were poor, but that she swiftly improved and gradually gained greater sophistication as a writer. He was excited but did not trust his own judgment. He consulted friends Ashok Seksariya and Ramesh Goswami with whom he shared a common interest in literature. Both were enthused by Baby’s manuscript, hailing it as another Diary of Anne Frank. Prabodh was persuaded to translate it into Hindi. Aalo Aandhari (Light and Darkness) was ready. But finding a publisher for such an unusual narrative was tougher; the book was too strange for their tastes. But Sanjay Bharti, who owns a small publishing house, Roshani Publishers, agreed to risk it even if it lost him money.

There was, however, yet another surprise in store for all the four friends of literature: Aalo Aandhari began selling from the first day of its launch. “Everyone from the sweeper to the retired headmistress next door wanted to buy a copy.” It sold so well that the second edition was out in less than two months. Noted directors like Prakash Jha have shown interest in making a film on it, someone wants to make a play out of it, others want to translate it into English, Oriya, Tamil, Telugu; and a new literary magazine in Calcutta, Bhasha Bandhan, will start serialising the book in Bengali. “This is not a book that can be read and tossed aside. It raises questions about the fate of the millions of domestic workers in our country and their ill treatment,” a review in the newspaper The Hindu concluded. “Truly this is a story of courage under fire. It also illustrates how Indian society treats women who leave their husbands, stigmatizing them and pushing them to the margins of existence.” But for Baby, the best thing about her rebirth as an author is the regard of her new friends. “For the first time in my life, I feel confident that my story is worth telling, and in my own words.” However, there is an intriguing twist in the tale of Baby Halder. This 39-year-old prolific writer does not like to be called an author.”I am a domestic help, not a writer,” said Halder, who has two best-selling books to her credit. She lives in a temporary room on the terrace.

She is often invited to speak at literary festivals across the country. Halder has rubbed shoulders with many top writers at literary festivals and seminar across the world. She is a fan of Arundhati Roy, Taslima Nasrin and Jhumpa Lahiri.  Halder has built a house in Kolkata with earnings from her books. “I need not work as a domestic help anymore, but I am not comfortable leaving my employer who is a father-like figure to me. But eventually I hope to move to Kolkata someday, which I think is the best place for people who want to write in Bengali,” said Halder.Her two children, Tapas, 20, and Piya 17 – are aspiring to become fashion designers.

She rejected a drunk bridegroom

18 Monday May 2015

Posted by fragranceofsuccess in Women Winners

≈ 4 Comments

“Alcoholism does more havoc than three historical scourge together; famine, plague and war”

-William Gladstone

It is the third of April 2015.The wedding festivities are in full swing. People are singing, dancing and making merry. They have enjoyed the feast laid out by the parents of the bride. The priest is now guiding the bride and bridegroom to take the seven vows around the sacred fire. He is also explaining the meaning of the seven vows for a healthy, happy married life. The bride observes that the bridegroom is under the influence of alcohol, so much so that he cannot stand on his own .He is being supported by his relatives to stand and move around the sacred fire. There is no time to consult anyone, she takes a decision of her lifetime. She tells the priest to stop it and walks out. She declares that she is not going to get married to a drunkard. People are shocked and surprised-some are amused and bewildered at this bizarre turn of events. This is not the shooting of a film or television serial but a reality. Yes they say reality bites.

If you thought this could happen only in the metro cities of India, then you will be surprised that now even girls in rural India are standing up for themselves. A small tribal hamlet of Chattisgarh was a witness to this truly courageous happening. The bride who is the heroine of this story is twenty year old Urmila Sonwani of village ‘Devbhog’ about 250 kms from the capital Raipur. Urmila is a school dropout after class eight, and works as a daily wage labourer along with her father. The village is so backward that it does not even have proper roads, school or medical facilities. Urmila’s father cannot even afford a mobile phone.

Urmila

                Urmila with her parents

Urmila’s father was very happy when he came to know that his daughter’s marriage had been finalized to a boy employed in the government sector. In order to arrange for a decent marriage, he had to sell half the small piece of land that he had inherited. But Urmila who took the spontaneous decision of her lifetime to reject the drunkard bridegroom, has no regrets. She consoles her parents by saying that at least her life has been saved from being ruined. She said “if I had fallen seriously ill a lot of money would have been spent in my medical treatment” She has actually saved herself from a disastrous marriage and a drunkard husband who would have made life hell for her!

Urmila’s parents were shocked when she abruptly walked out of the marriage ritual. But she boldly told the entire gathering “what will be my future if I marry a man who cannot support himself, how will he support me?” The news of a girl refusing to marry a drunk groom spread like wild fire in the village. The local panchayat members of ‘Gada ’community met and discussed the case. They supported the brave action of Urmila. They decided to ostracize the family of the bridegroom for such an obnoxious act. The priests of the area decided not to solemnize any marriage where the bridegroom or his relatives are intoxicated.

The active role played by the media in highlighting this incident alerted the CG government. Chief Minister Dr Raman Singh praised Urmila for her courageous decision. Her parents were also presented a certificate by the District Collector Mr Niranjan Das at a special function held in their honour. The Minister for Women and Child Development Ms Ramsheela Sahu visited Urmila’s parents and touched their feet. She praised them for the bold act of their daughter. She declared that Urmila would be the brand ambassador for her Ministry, who would lead the de addiction campaign called ‘Mata Vahini’ in the state. The story of Urmila would also be included in school text books for motivation of girls. Moreover Urmila would also be honoured in State functions. The amount of awareness this incident has generated, can be gauged from the fact that a group of about 40 girls  formed ‘Urmila Vahini’ and took a pledge not to get married to alcoholics. Shankarachatya Jagatguru Swami Swarupanand Saraswati has supported Urmila saying that if the marriage rituals are performed under the influence of liquor then they are not valid.

Let’s take a look at similar incidents happening across the country.  In Ajnar, a small village near Kanpur, in the Mahoba district of Uttar Pradesh, Neha, daughter of Shripat Ahirwar, was ready for her ‘jaimal,’ a ritual in Hindu weddings. All of a sudden, she noticed that the groom, Arvind, a native of Ragauli village, was in a drunken state and was fighting with her siblings over the music. Neha’s siblings had stopped the music since it was disturbing the priest, but Arvind and his friends created a scene over this.Neha did not take any time in announcing before the gathering that she would not marry Arvind. She could not tolerate the fact that the boy who was going to be her life partner had come inebriated at their wedding ceremony and hurled abuses at her relatives. When Neha refused to budge, the ‘baraat’ had to return. “She refused to marry the man who was drunk. I did not force her to marry against her wishes,” said her father.

Puneshwari of Medha village, near Bilaspur, too took a courageous step of refusing to marry Deepak Yadav of Mendra village, who, she got to know, was drunk even before the wedding ceremonies began. Deepak’s family pleaded before Puneshwari’s family but to no avail. The villagers too wholeheartedly supported the bride’s decision.

When Dhannu Kumar took his wedding procession from Chakmusa village in Patna district to Navratanpur village in the same district, little did he think that his drunkenness will cost him a bride.  When Renu Kumari saw that the groom had not only reached the wedding venue under the influence of alcohol but was also misbehaving with several of her relatives, she took the bold step of not only ordering the marriage party out of her home but also filing a case against the groom and 25 others for assaulting the wedding guests. What’s more – the groom was arrested and sent to jail for this unacceptable behaviour!

India is now truly shining! India is truly an incredible country. At a time when we are surrounded by reports of rapes, domestic violence, honour killings and the like, these girls who have refused to accept drunkards as their life partners, have brought  pride and glory to the women fraternity. May their tribe increase!

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