“Live your life for you, not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker
Whether you were not invited to a social engagement, your matrimonial proposal has been rejected or you were overlooked for a promotion, rejection hurts. The way you choose to respond to rejection, however, could determine the entire course of your future.
If you never get rejected, you may be living well within your comfort zone. You can’t be sure you’re pushing yourself to your limits until you get rejected.
Instances of rejection
- One of the hardest areas to be rejected is romantic love. The suffering that comes with this type of rejection is considerably harder than in most other types.
- You apply for a job wherein you possess all the qualifications and experience required, but you are rejected.
- In spite of having a well-paying job, attractive personality and good family background your matrimonial proposal is rejected.
- Your manuscript of a stunning novel is rejected by a publisher.
Why do people reject you?
Some of the main reasons why people reject you are as follows:
- Their opinion and outlook are different from yours.
- People can also reject you because of their own personal prejudices, values, or beliefs.
- They are looking for some attributes which you don’t possess.
- At some point of time, they realize, you are not the person they presumed you to be.
- They are only seeing external beauty and ignoring your positive characteristics and your invaluable qualities which you undoubtedly possess.
How to handle rejection
If you didn’t get the job you were really hoping for, don’t lose heart. Try to analyze the possible reasons: you may need to prepare more extensively, enhance your qualifications, improve your communication skills etc. Keep applying for similar jobs and maintain the momentum of preparation. An unsuccessful job interview does not feel so bad if another one is scheduled for tomorrow.
Do not take rejection personally. Remember that the rejection says nothing about you as a person. They were rejecting your resume, not you.
If your manuscript gets rejected by one publisher, it is good to stop and reflect on what it was that didn’t work for them, and revise it accordingly. But you should keep contacting other publishers and agents, and sooner than later you will see your book in print.
Dwelling on it will make you unhappy. You need to be able to accept that things don’t always work out the way you want them to and that’s okay! Just because one thing didn’t work out, doesn’t mean you’re a failure, or that nothing will work out.
Don’t complain too much. Avoid getting on social media to air your grievances. One of the best phrases to use is “it didn’t work out” because it removes the blame from them and guilt from you.
There is much more to life than rejection
Learn a new skill, a new game, develop a new hobby. It will keep you busy and help you to heal. Find time to travel to new places, meet new people and discover new opportunities. Interacting with some trusted people will really help, because they can share with you their experiences of facing rejection in life.
You may also like to know why you got rejected – interviews where you were rejected, your suggestions and proposals which were turned down. Let them know you accept the rejection, and you sincerely want to learn what went wrong, so you can improve. When done in an appropriate and sincere manner, the other party will often be more than willing to share the feedback and help you to improve.
Learn from the rejection
- Rejection from potential employers should became a motivation to enrich your resume and enroll in professional development courses.
- Use rejection as an opportunity to move forward with more wisdom.
- If you can understand the reason behind the rejection, you can do things differently next time. This will be immensely helpful in your growth.
- Rejection can be a good teacher. Analysis helps in knowing what people want, identifying my shortcomings and finding ways to overcome them.
One person’s opinion, or one single incident, should never define who you are. Don’t let your self-worth depend upon other people’s opinions of you. Just because someone else thinks something about you, doesn’t mean it’s true.
Mentally strong people don’t make sweeping generalizations when they’re rejected. If one company turns them down for a job, they don’t declare themselves incompetent. Or, if they get rejected by a single love interest, they don’t conclude they’re unlovable.
Rejection happens, even to the best of us. It’s how you react to rejection that makes all the difference.