The month of April is full of anxiety for kids, more so for the parents because of the declaration of school results. In the beginning of the session, parents tell their children to study well and pass with high marks. Indeed a child’s success is always a source of pride for any parent. However, not everyone can pass with flying colors. Naturally, some of the kids will bring home report cards that are a source of joy to the parents, while others may bring disappointment.
Good report card
If your child has got good results, it is certainly a reason to celebrate. But it is also a time to inculcate some values in him. He should not forget to be grateful to God for keeping him in a healthy physical and mental state, because of which he could do well in the examination. Thankfulness to parents and teachers should also be expressed. Guard him so that success doesn’t go to his head, and he starts bragging. It’s time to lay the foundation of humility.
Don’t compare with other kids
Never be tempted to compare your child with siblings or other children. Each one is unique and is good in one thing or the other. Such comparisons cause inferiority complex in the child. In fact, a comparison if at all, should be with oneself. Let’s understand this as follows. Your child has a capacity to score 70% marks. If he scores 68% and tops his class you are very happy, but if he scores 72% but does not come first in class, you are disappointed. It is better to appreciate that the child has stretched himself, even though he could not top the class.
Not so good report card
When your child brings home a bad report card, your first instinct might be to yell and punish, but a bad report card really isn’t the end of the world. Knowing how to deal with a bad report card can take some finesse and may require you to take a step back and look at things from a different perspective.
When unexpected or poor results come in, research shows that reacting with frustration, anger, lecturing or punishment isn’t the best way to get better results. If you respond in frustration to your child’s poor results, you actually dampen your child’s motivation to learn.
Talk to your child
Talk about the poor grades, but don’t lose your temper. There’s nothing wrong with letting your child know he hasn’t met your expectations. He probably already knows. However, if you’re unable to talk about what those expectations are and why he thinks he hasn’t met them in a calm manner, he’s more likely to be humiliated and ashamed than motivated to work harder.
Listen to your child.
Possibly he has a million reasons why he has not done well, none of which are valid or lay the responsibility at his feet, but he may have some insights, too. Maybe he’s distracted or embarrassed to ask for help. Maybe he can’t see the board or is tired because he’s participating in too many co-curricular activities.You won’t know until you listen to his point of view. But this should be a conversation, not a confrontation. Let him know that you’re on his side and want to help him get back on track.
Focus on the good
Praise the positive. Somewhere on that report card, there is something to be proud of, even if it’s just a good attendance record. Make sure your child knows you’re looking at everything and not just the negatives. Remember that for children, a poor report card can be incredibly intimidating and scary. Instead of focusing on one bad grade or even a report card full of poor grades, try to point out the positive aspects of your child’s report card. For example, you could say, “I noticed you got a ‘B’ in Drawing! That’s great!”
What the report card does not show
The report card does not show whether your child has a talent to become an artist, a painter, a choreographer, an actor, a musician, a leader, an outstanding sports person, an entrepreneur, a cook, a photographer and what not. In fact, some of the world’s celebrities were disappointments for their parents and teachers. Don’t panic if your child is not doing well in academics, just wait and explore his area of interest.Once you encourage him to follow his passion, he will do you proud.
Remind your child that no one is perfect
Was there a time when you failed? Have you ever struggled to get good grades? Did you ever feel like your parents were disappointed with you? Why not talk with your child about it? Let your youngster know that you’ve felt scared, sad, and disappointed before. Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect, no matter how hard they try. This will instill in him the confidence, that improvement is possible.
Keep your relationships positive
The best thing you can do for your children is to maintain a loving relationship with them. Children who feel loved unconditionally will more likely do well in school. Don’t let your child feel that your approval is based on his grades. It is a recipe for disaster. Instead of fuming and fretting on poor grades, develop ways to spend quality time with your child. Whether your child has one bad grade or an entire report card of bad grades, it’s important that you demonstrate to your child that you still care. It is important to periodically say, “I hope you know I love you, no matter what your grades are.”
In a nutshell
- If your child has brought good results, it is certainly a reason to celebrate.
- Never be tempted to compare your child with siblings or other children.
- Don’t show frustration, anger, or inflict punishment on your child.
- Talk to your child coolly and listen to him patiently.
- Try to find something good in the report card and praise it.
- Don’t panic if your child is not doing well in academics, just wait and explore his area of interest.
- Don’t let your child feel that your approval is based on his grades. Love him unconditionally.
(Note: The word ‘he’ used above is inclusive of both genders)